How Do You Fix Something You Didn’t Do?

Posted: December 28, 2010 in Misc

I am a fixer. I always have been, always will be. If someone is going through something bad, I need to fix it. Maybe it’s a woman thing. So when my step-kids have issues caused by their mother, how do I fix it? How do I fix problems I did not create?

My step-daughter has some pent-up anger inside of her and I see her pain. It breaks my heart. My step-son is young enough that any damage done should be easy to undo. I am more worried about my teenage step-daughter. She is angry at the things her mother has done and I spent a good hour today listening to her cry about the things she has been through. Part of me wants to smack her mother upside the head. The other part of me wants to drop everything and make it all better for my step-daughter. I just don’t know how to do it.

Turns out that my step-daughter tried talking to her mother about her drinking problem. Her mother’s response? That she doesn’t drink as much as my husband or smoke as much as me. That’s funny. I live across the country from this woman. How does she know how much I smoke? And my husband doesn’t drink at all anymore. Sounds like a grade-school comeback to me. I swear to God this woman has the mentality of a five-year-old. If your child comes to you saying they don’t like your drinking and don’t want you running out to bars all hours of the night, maybe you should sit back and take some responsibility and grow the hell up. Not point out non-existent flaws of others. What a turd.

It also turns out that my husband’s ex-wife was badmouthing me and my husband to her two children. Apparently she had time between her bar visits to do this. My step-daughter said she feels as though she was trying to turn her against us. Didn’t work, but it’s disgusting that she tried in the first place. I think this woman is a piece of shit, but I won’t say it to her kids.

So how do you fix emotional issues that make a teenage girl burst into tears at random? My step-daughter won’t tell her mother how she really feels about her because she’s afraid to. Her mother still doesn’t know that the real reason the kids wanted to come here and live with us is because she’s an unfit parent. One day she will have to know. That day is not right now.

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