I Was Proven Wrong Again

Posted: January 8, 2011 in Rants and Raves
Tags: , , ,

I love it when I’m wrong. Actually, no I don’t. It pisses me off to no end. I hate being wrong. Hate it. It must be a female thing. Anyway, I was proven wrong once again today and (surprise, surprise) it has to do with my husband’s ex-wife.

Okay, so I have been told time and time again that she is an unfit parent. I’m thinking, “Okay, she’s a shitty mom. She’s unstable and immature. But does that really make her an unfit parent? Probably not.” So I, of course, have to run around arguing the fact that, by law, she is not necessarily unfit. Just less than ideal. Again, I’m looking like an idiot. Here’s the email I got from one of my lawyer friends:

Begin except of email:

I know you have this innate need to defend the defenseless. For once just listen to the professionals, okay? She is unfit, and yes, unfit by legal standards — not just moral ones. I know every possible detail of this case after listening to you lament about it for hours and reviewing all of the paperwork your husband has and the testimonies of your step-children.

The definition of an unfit parent varies from state to state, but Utah and Illinois laws are not very different in this regard. To sum it up, a parent may be deemed unfit if they have failed to provide proper care for a child (which there is documented evidence of). A parent may also be deemed to be unfit if there is clear evidence showing abuse of alcohol or drugs (which you have more than enough proof).

A parent may deemed to be unfit by the court if that parent habitually leaves the home for long periods of time, depriving the child of maternal or paternal care and comfort (which she has done at least once a week). If the parent, when at home, neglects the children’s basic needs that parent may also be deemed unfit.

The courts have also deemed that excessive use of alcohol is a cause of child endangerment. There is documented proof of child endangerment in the records I have reviewed. I understand that you want to avoid the emotional impact these children may face if their mother’s parental rights were terminated by the courts, but you must also consider the long-term damage her actions are causing to these minors.”

Anyway, the email went on to state that I needed to reconsider my stance on my husband not pursuing a termination of his ex’s parental rights. I’m beginning to think that maybe I have been wrong about standing up for her on this issue. It’s something I’m going to have to think about and I have to be careful that I do not let my personal feelings become involved, since I would really like this woman to pay for some of the things she has said. Above all else, I need to worry about the welfare of my step-children, not personal feelings or a need for revenge.

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