I’m facing some serious life decisions right now. I know I have said time and time again that I love my husband, and I do, but I just don’t know if I am strong enough to deal with the issues he has. I’ve mentioned on here before that he has borderline personality disorder and he is a recovering alcoholic. To say he is moody is an understatement. To say he can be mean and manipulative is also putting it mildly. At times I do real well with his issues, telling myself that it isn’t him and that it is his condition that causes him to act a certain way, but lately I find myself having a real hard time dealing with the stress.

I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for my husband’s kids from his first marriage I probably would have left him by now. Not because I don’t love him, because I do love him, but because I get sick and tired of walking on eggshells. If he doesn’t get his way, holy hell breaks loose and it’s bullshit. But if I leave him, then where do my step-kids go? Do they live with him and his mood swings? Do they go back to their unfit mother? The only way to make sure the kids are okay is to stay with him and keep them here. I’m just worried it’ll cost me my sanity.

Maybe I’m too demanding. I just don’t think it’s right for a grown man to spend hours every day playing video games. Usually I can handle picking up all the slack, providing all of the income and taking care of the kids. Today, however, I am sick. My stomach is hurting like hell and I just can’t do it all. My patience has gone to shit and I feel like running away.

I honestly don’t know what I am going to do. I do love my husband, but his moods and his immature behavior are starting to wear on me. My family has told me over and over that I need to stay with him for the sake of the kids. Maybe they are right. All I know is that borderline personality disorder isn’t easy to live with and every time I get sick of his shit, he somehow manages to project the blame on me. I wonder how many people with his condition ruin their marriages and relationships. I can’t imagine anyone else putting up with the bullshit I’ve been putting up with. The question is, how long will I be able to do it?

Comments
  1. horsewyrm says:

    Wow, it sounds like you got your hands full princess. Either your a saint or your insane. It sounds like you’re doing everything. Taking care of kids, making all of the money and keeping house. I’m not sure how you manage at all. All I can say is good luck. It sounds like you need it.

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