A Guilt Trip Like No Other

Posted: January 25, 2011 in Misc
Tags: , ,

Just when I thought the mother of my step-children may have gotten a clue and actually stopped her bullshit, I was informed today that it has not happened. (Can you see me here, rolling my eyes and clenching my fists?)

I have been informed that my husband’s “lovely” ex-wife is trying to guilt trip my step-daughter in a rather passive-aggressive way for moving to Chicago to live with us rather than staying in Utah to live with her. How is she doing it? On her blog. I guess, from what I understand, her blog used to go on and on about how she loved to drink and party and sing karaoke at gay bars. What does her blog say now? That she wants her children to come home and how she can’t live without them — over and over and over.

This woman knows her daughter reads her blog (I for one, am smart enough to keep my kids the hell away from my blog). On the surface, if you didn’t know this woman, you might believe she was sincere. I know better. I would be willing to bet everything I have that the blog posts she is writing are about as sincere as a jaded, old used car salesman. This wouldn’t piss me off if it wasn’t aimed at my step-daughter. My step-daughter is suffering from enough stress and confusion. She doesn’t need her mother adding more into it.

Don’t get me wrong. If this woman honestly cared about her kids and missed them so much, then I wouldn’t be being such a bitch about her blog posts. But she acts like all she does is sit there and mourn the fact that her kids choose to live with a real family, and that’s a load of shit. Just the other night she was out at a rock concert. She still does her bowling and drinking binges. I think what she misses is having my step-daughter around to babysit for her and clean the house. Seriously. That is my honest take on the situation.

What do I base my opinion on? This woman knows her son has emotional issues and is being diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Has she asked once how he is doing? Has she once inquired as to the mental well-being of her children? Nope. Not once. In fact, she would rather deny the fact that her neglect caused some emotional damage to her children and would like to pretend that the issues don’t exist. I mean, forget the fact that the school, social workers and psychologists all agree with the fact that this child has serious issues. She knows all, and according to her, she hasn’t done a damn thing wrong.

Now I’m going to let you all in on a little secret. It’s not really a secret, but this is the type of mother we are dealing with. Not only has this woman left her children alone all hours while she goes out drinking or partying with her friends, but when my husband had a serious drinking problem (this was way before we got together) she would drop the kids off with him KNOWING that he would get so drunk that he would pass out with the kids there. Why did she do this? Why would she leave the children with a man who wasn’t able to take care of them at that point? Because she wanted to go out and have fun and he was a free babysitter. At that time, my step-daughter wasn’t old enough to play nanny.

I am not proud of some of the things my husband has done, but even he realizes that he screwed up in the past and that the behavior was unacceptable. He has definitely made some changes as far as being a responsible parent. My family has been able to provide him with some serious moral guidance and he definitely needed it. However, the difference between my husband and his ex-wife is that my husband has recognized his parental mistakes and wants to step up to the plate to correct any damage that may have been done. This woman, on the other hand, just wants to ignore all of the emotional damage that she has done to her children. She could care less about their emotional well being and the fact that she is trying to put my step-daughter under more guilt and stress is really pissing me off.

How selfish does a person have to be to act that way? How sick does a mother have to be to not give a damn about the mental well being over her own children?

I used to feel sorry for this woman. If you’ve read my past blog posts you know I used to actually stick up for her. You know, I don’t feel sorry for her anymore. If her husband loses his job, oh well. If she loses her house, not my problem. Maybe she needs to hit rock bottom before she can wake up, grow up and be a real mother.

Comments
  1. Maggie says:

    Wow, your stepdaughter’s mother sounds like a real bitch! I can’t stand people that act that way and ignore their own children… sounds like she never should have had children in the first place! Maybe they wouldn’t have so many problems if it wasn’t for her!

    • princessjd says:

      Hi Maggie! Hope you had a great Monday.

      Yes, the woman is definitely a bitch — and not the good kind. I’m glad she did have children or I wouldn’t have my wonderful step-kids in my life, but she is definitely an unfit parent. When the kids were living with her in Utah she would leave them alone every week so she could go out to bars. When she was at home and not out drinking she would never pay any attention to them (I guess she lives on Facebook from what my step-daughter says). I will admit that a portion of their problems are a result of my husband’s past drinking problem, but at least he has gotten help for his issues and is working on being a better parent. She refuses to get help for her issues and refuses to admit that she caused at least half, if not more, of the problems that these kids have. I have had more than one professional tell me that her actions had an impact on the emotional issues these kids are going through. Unfortunately, she isn’t going to wake up and realize it until hell is unleashed on her.

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