Breakups and Heartbreak

Posted: March 4, 2011 in Breakups and Heartbreak
Tags: , ,

I know I’ve been gone for a bit. Those of you who follow my blog know what happened. You know that I ended a relationship that was anything but ideal. To my surprise, immediately after the breakup, I found myself feeling mixed emotions. I was the one who said it was over, so why did I feel abandoned and betrayed? I’ve spent the last week analyzing my emotions and wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

We’ve all been there. We’re in love. The relationship is wonderful. Then things start to go south and the nightmare begins. Eventually you leave or your partner leaves and you are left with the ruins of a failed relationship. You wonder if the pain will ever subside. You wonder if there will ever be a night that you don’t wake up gasping the name of your lost love and bursting into tears.

You fight with yourself not to call your ex. You spend hours agonizing over whether or not you will see him (or her) again. Your heart feels as though it is going to burst through your chest and you wonder if you can possibly survive this experience. This is exactly what I have been going through and now that the storm has somewhat passed (trust me, I still have my moments) I decided to change the direction of this blog somewhat for at least a while.

While I was in the middle of my heartbreak I wondered how I was going to manage. How I was going to live without this man I had loved so dearly. How I was going to live without my step-children. For a few moments I forgot all of the horrible things this person had done to me and I was devastated over losing the good parts of our relationship, as few as they may have been. Once the storm passed I realized there are other people going through the exact same things I have been experiencing over the past week and I realized that those who go through this in the future will be able to learn from my experiences.

If the above situation describes you, first, take a deep breath. I can tell you, yes, you will get better. Yes, it is going to get easier. No, the pain isn’t going to go away overnight but it is going to subside and millions of others have gone through the very same thing you are dealing with.

How do I know this? How can I be so sure?

I was madly in love with a man (who turned out to have borderline personality disorder). I myself have abandonment issues, so the relationship was a nightmare from day one. Of course you couldn’t tell me that at the time. I was determined to spend the rest of my life with this man. I was determined to do anything, no matter what the cost, to be with him. Whether that meant completely abandoning my self respect or hurting those who had cared most about me — I didn’t care. He was all that mattered. He was my life. And then one day he was gone.

Over the next few weeks this blog is going to cover the things I had experienced and the turmoils I still go through. This blog is going to help others recover from heartbreak. This blog is going to be geared towards giving you the tools you need to survive this disaster.

You are not alone. I have been there. My personal breakup almost landed me in a padded room (and that was the best case scenario). It nearly killed me. If you are going through this and this is what you feel like, do not lose hope. You will smile again. You will one day be happy again. I am going to help you and I am going to post every day with a new tip to help you overcome this emotional hell that you are going through.

It WILL be okay. YOU will be okay. We will get through this, together.

I am far from being completely over my relationship, but today I smiled for the first time in days. Today I laughed, and I meant it.

There will be some days I don’t post. I still have my moments of depression. Bear with me. In the meantime, listen to this song. It did wonders for me:

Shinedown Diamond Eyes

Comments
  1. milesfromyou says:

    I loved this! Thank you!

  2. Jaclyn Rae says:

    I think you’re going to inspire a lot of people with your story. I’ve been getting over a rough break-up for the past 4 months and, while the worst has passed, it’s still good to hear that “it will be okay” again. Thank you 🙂

  3. Hope22 says:

    I am you and you are me!!! I left my BDP bf about 6 weeks ago and even though he emotionally and verbally abused me over and over again, I was madly in love with him and actually tried to go back to him after 2 weeks, but he wouldn’t take me back, not right then any way. You see, I had developed a plan in my twisted and abused head to fix him, no, I mean REALLY fix him so we could be together….ohhhh ha ha ha. We have been in communication the whole time. Until last week, when I finally got some effing balls!! The whole time we have been broken up, he has been punishing me in various sorts of ways. And I kinda sorta believed that it was my fault, since I was the one who broke up with him, right? I had conveniently forgotten that his effed up behavior and emotional abuse had pushed me to leave him. The straw that broke the camels back was when in one of his punish-me-sessions, he told me that I “should date other people since I was single.” This was right after we had planned a trip in the next couple of weeks to see his parents. He wanted me to beg, to fight for him, to ease his insecurities like I had so many times before.

    That was it. And he was right, why in the hell wouldn’t I date other men? I am still going through episodes of grief, but I took his advice and went out on a couple of dates, and you know what? I am sure I can do better than his looney toons ass!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s